Ping pong isn’t our only contention. My cousin and I are always combative… perhaps too competitive. It could be as little as whom could eat speedier or just plain consume more… whom could eat slower or less. It didn’t matter. If there was a way one mortal could outperform the other in something, we would contend.

Regrettably, the tiny house my wife and I purchased does not have a lot of space for the many ways my cousin and I wish to compete. After much deliberation, my wife and I finally set on a pool table with one of the table tennis conversion tops. Basically this gives us the capacity to enjoy either billiards or ping-pong on the same table in the same room.

So now my cousin and my infamous rivalry remains. Naturally, he invariably kvetches that it isn’t the true thing. Even though he ordinarily trumps me in pocket billiards, every single instance we set the table tennis conversion top on the pool table, it seems his game errs.

To put it simply, I think it’s because I am just simply the better table tennis player. But regrettably, he has too many excuses. The height isn’t correct. The proportions are incorrect. The list proceeds on. So I got out the measuring tape. The height and proportions are right on to the official table tennis proportions. Then he claimed the table caused the incorrect bounce; that in some way the pool table beneath affected the speed and elevation of the ball bounce.

So we researched the official bounce measurement (indeed, there’s an official bounce measurement). It’s for each 30 cm of drop, there should be a 23 centimeters bounce. We tested the bounce in over a dozen placements on the conversion top. In every spot the ball bounced virtually perfectly straight up and nearly precisely 23 centimeters high. So you realize, ping pong conversion tops do a perfectly respectable job duplicating a good game of ping pong. And my cousin has no excuses. I am simply the superior table tennis player.

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